Tracy: Finding out my son has autism

Tracy Beadle and her two sonsI’m 33 and have been married to Glenn for seven years and we have two sons, Dylan aged six, and Jake aged two. We live in Kent.

I had heard of autism but I wasn’t really aware of it. I was ignorant that there’s a huge spectrum and thought children with autism didn’t speak. When Dylan was 22 months a health visitor came to see us and the moment she looked at Dylan a look of horror crossed her face, she couldn’t hide it. She started asking if he liked cuddles. I instantly knew what she was getting at - if he had autism - and said “of course he likes cuddles!” I took Dylan to the GP and she said, “don’t worry, see how he goes” and I clung to that hope.

Getting an assessment for Dylan

In 2009 when he was three and half an advisory teacher went to his nursery to assess the children with additional needs and asked to assess Dylan. When the assessment dropped through the letterbox saying he had repetitive behaviour, sensory issues and wasn’t communicating with others I couldn’t believe it. I’d never felt ‘lost’ from Dylan - he could communicate with me - but I cried and cried when I realised how lost in his own world he was at nursery.

After Jake was born that year I started going to a local autism support group where I realised straight away so many siblings have autism. This forced me to try to accept that my new baby may have autism too even though we hadn’t had a proper diagnosis for Dylan. We were referred to a paediatrician who told me the earth-shattering news Dylan had autism the week of his fourth birthday. My husband Glenn’s reaction was a lot better than mine, I think the fact I was so devastated made him strong and he assured me “we will get through anything as a family”.

Fighting the local authority for specialist provision

We started the statementing process for Dylan and he began at a mainstream school in September 2009. He got his draft statement in January 2010 saying he needed specialist provision but there were no spaces, so I bugged the local authority daily and in March 2010 was offered a place in specialist provision. He started in a specialist unit attached to a mainstream primary school in September 2010 and it’s a joy to see him go to school, he’s so happy and making good progress. What local authorities fail to realise is that most parents don’t want specialist provision for their children. It’s a very hard decision to make but when you know your child needs it, it makes the fight you have to have with the local authority all the more terrible and desperate. 

We’re on a waiting list to see a paediatrician for Jake because he has a lot of sensory issues and traits of autism.

I’ve been a Talk about Autism Community Champion for over two years. It gives me a place to go where I don’t feel judged and it feels good to be helping others. It’s a support and a comfort at the same time.

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