How I experience sensory differences as an autistic person
Autism is as much, if not more, about sensory differences as it is about social differences. Whereas we might be able to learn how to communicate, we cannot learn how to like a sensory experience. We can learn ways of coping but it would be like forcing someone to like the noise of nails on a blackboard or enjoy a rollercoaster if they are afraid of heights.
I have very acute senses so I will be able to hear the tiniest noise or tell if my jumper has been washed by its texture. I hate loud or overlapping noises and bright lights and heat are overstimulating. On the flip-side of that, silence is worse. When there is silence, my head fills with the noise of hundreds of thoughts and memories all crossing over one other, not being able to find their own path. This is like being overstimulated from the inside so unless I am trying to work, I will always listen to music or audiobooks to give me something to focus on.
How sensory overload impacts me
Sensory overload is weird. Once I start being overstimulated by one thing, I immediately get stimulated by others that I might normally be able to ignore. I will be able to feel the way my socks are positioned on my feet or a label on my neck. It’s a hard feeling to describe but it almost feels like insects are crawling over my skin or that awkward, uncomfortable feeling when a joint needs to click. One sensory stimulation quickly leads to more as they all add to the racing thoughts and my brain stops being able to ignore the things I don’t like. Having said that, I often won’t process any of this as sensory overload until I have left that situation, after which I will suddenly get an overwhelming sense of relief, followed by exhaustion.
Positive sensory experiences
My positive sensory experiences come with nature. I love the feel of bark, the sounds of birds, and being at the top of a cliff or mountain in heavy rain and strong winds. The combination of feelings, smells, and noises, all overstimulate me but in the best possible way. They are all so much that they become the only thing I can see. All the thoughts in my head that normally overwhelm me are pushed away and it’s just me and the wildness. Also animals. A wet nose or a fluffy friend is the best possible way for me to calm down. Animals and nature are my safe space. Textures are also important for me – particularly soft and silky things. I am fussy about clothes and I carry around a ribbon and two conkers wherever I go. If I am becoming overstimulated and can’t get into nature, I can focus on the textures of these things and this often helps to calm me down. Again, it takes me out of my head and gives me something physical to concentrate on.
What neurotypical people should know about sensory differences
I think the most important thing for neurotypical people to understand about sensory differences is that they will be different for every person. For me, a sensory-friendly space is somewhere with options. Dimmable lighting, different seating options, fidgets that can be played with. A place that can be used to shut off from the world or distract from stimulation around us. I would encourage neurotypical people to be curious and understanding. Ask autistic people whether they are comfortable and give them warning before turning on a light or making a noise. Take notice your surroundings – even if something seems insignificant to you, it may have a big impact on us.
About the author
Anna is 22 and is studying a master’s degree in conservation and biodiversity at the University of Exeter. She was diagnosed with autism, ADHD and OCD just under two years ago. Her special interests are wildlife and music, and she is also passionate about advocating for the autistic community.
