Making Christmas work for me and my autistic siblings
My name is Laura. I am 18, but I was diagnosed with autism when I was 14. I love photography and am currently trying to start my own music photography business! In this blog, I will be sharing a guide to Christmas for autistic young people, written by a fellow autistic young person.
For me, I love the nostalgic traditions that Christmas brings year on year. It gives me a sense of comfort knowing my family will have a stockpile of Celebrations and Quality Street tubs, as if we were preparing for war. I also know Nativity and its sequels will always be my go-to films, despite how many other films are out there! Similarly, my autistic brother loves The Snowman, not just at Christmas but all year round!
Christmas can be difficult at times
On the other hand, Christmas definitely feels like a difficult time for many of us. Everyone collectively decides to leave the house more, so times that may have been quieter and safer no longer feel that way. I went Christmas shopping with one of my friends a couple of weeks ago, but we both left empty-handed as it was overstimulating to even browse. The lights felt too bright, the music felt too loud, and the sheer number of crowds made it feel stuffy and overbearing. We went on a Sunday morning thinking it’d be quieter, but the shops had other plans!
Another element of Christmas I’m not super fond of is the endless socialisation and the amount of masking that demands. I do laugh, though, as December feels like the only time of the year when people pretend to like each other!
What helps me manage the Christmas period is reminding myself that it’s okay to enjoy it on my own terms while looking after myself too. In fact, I enjoy socialising far more after I have met my own needs first.
This could look different for everyone, but for me, it’s things like:
- completing all my Christmas shopping online - it gives you ample time to research gifts in the comfort of your bed without the sensory overwhelm
- honest conversations with family and friends about your needs and how they may be able to support you
- always making sure I have time blocked out before or after an event (even if that is just listening to music on the journeys).
Some autistic people may be able to relate to the paradox of experiencing FOMO (fear of missing out) despite hating the discomfort that can come with social activities. It feels like walking a constant tightrope between wanting to feel included whilst wanting comfort. However, I remind myself that I do not have to accept every invitation if I won’t have time to myself / around safe people, or I simply don’t feel up to it. And honestly? What you see online is a curated highlight reel of a few seconds. I guarantee you at least someone in that room was wishing they were you in that moment.
Making our own Christmas traditions
Growing up in a household where two of my siblings are autistic, as well as finding out myself later on, means Christmas can be absolute chaos with our conflicting needs. Yet, I also find it beautiful that we can work alongside them to spend time as a family. So yeah, it may be The Snowman and Nativity repeated every year, but that is what makes Christmas for us.
In conclusion, you don’t have to follow society’s expectations to make Christmas work for you. In fact, I hope you don’t. Redefine Christmas around you and your loved ones' traditions. I really hope this blog has been helpful in finding ways to make this festive season work for you, and not vice versa. Have a lovely Christmas, however you celebrate!
About the author
Laura is a member of the Ambitious Youth Network. She loves photography and is currently starting her own music photography business.
