How to find the best school for my asperger child | Ambitious about Autism
Skip to Content

How to find the best school for my asperger child

MikeS's picture

How to find the best school for my asperger child

Mon 7 Mar 2011 10:27am

[Community Manager - Emilie had some problems with her profile so she has re-registered on the site. Her new profile is emilie]

Hi everyone,


I 've just joined the association.

I am desperated !!!
We have a 10,5 years old boy, who has been diagnosed with ADHD since he was 3,5 and who has been taking ritalin since then.
The school clinical psychologist has recently said that he also has Asperger as he fits in most of the features for the diagnosis.
He started in a new boarding school last September where they have a huge learning support department (100 children receive aditional help out of 323 children in the school).
Our son has had regular speech therapy and we had to pay for his own carer who was living at the school and was looking after him in unstructured time. This girl was young and inexperienced and despite all these efforts our son has not managed to survive in the school. They have excluded him many times as he is violent with other children (he attacks them without beeing provoked) and says unacceptable rude words both to staff and pupils. He was on his last chance and we believe that he was not going to survive there for longer as they refuse to make some adjustments regarding their behaviour policy and won't tolerate a kid who is bad influence on other children.
We have decided not to send him back to school next week as he doesn't understand what he does wrong and doesn't seem to remember what happened. We can't reason him.
We are in the process of having him statemented and we were thinking to send him to a special school where his needs would be met.
This has not been done until recently as my husband is very academic, he is in denial and wanted our son to prepare for the common entrance exams as he is also very clever and would be able to make it.
He just has no social judgement and finds it very difficult to relate with his peers.
I am desperate to find him the right school and I was wondering if you could help or if you knew some parents whose children have asperger and ADHD whom I could talk to to share my concerns.
Do you have any schools specialised or not to recommend (schools who would tolerate children with Asperger and ADHD)
What do we do while we wait for the decision of the LEA ? Do we keep our son at home ? It's quite difficult with his younger brother.

I am looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Mike - Former Community Manager

Back to discussions
Read our guidelines

  • asteroids's picture

    Hi Emilie,

    Welcome to the forum. Sorry to hear you're having such a difficult time. Unfortunately, your story is rather a familiar one for parents with ASD children. It's a shame your son's school wasn't able to offer more specialised help for him.

    There are a number of specialised schools.

    The NAS has a few schools of their own:

    Also, Cambian:

    and Priory:

    There are also many small independent specialist schools and some Local Authorities have some very good special schools or mainstream schools with ASD units attached.

    It depends very much on where you live and whether you want your son to be at a school near you. Have you applied to your LA for a statement?

    Whilst you wait to see what your LA decide to offer, you have very little choice: keep your son at home and see if the LA will provide a home tutor or put him in the local primary school and hope for the best. Most parents in your situation choose to keep their children at home until a suitable place is found for them. This could take many months though so be prepared for it.

    Can I ask whereabouts you live? I may be able to find some local services to help you.

    Asteroids Sara - Community Champion

    Asteroids Sara
  • Forum User's picture

    Hi Asteroid,


    Thank you for your quick reply. We live in London, westminster. I would be grateful for a list of schools and a support group. I would love to meet some mums who have the same problems.

    Thanks for your help.

  • asteroids's picture

    Hi Emilie,

    I've found this:

    They provide support services for parents and may be able to help you find a suitable school for your son.

    We have quite a few people on the forum who live in or near London and I'm sure they'll be able to offer ideas for support.

    I'm based in Cornwall so probably not the best person to advice you Smile

    Is there anything we can do to help you with things at home? What are the main problems you're trying to cope with?


    Asteroids Sara
  • JosieB's picture

    Hi Emilie

    Just popped in to say welcome to the forum Smile

    I see Sara has given you lots of good links and advice and I really cant add anything to it.    Look forward to hearing more from you.

    Josie - Community Champion

    Josie - Community Champion
  • Snowdrop's picture

    Hi Emilie

    I too am just popping in to say hi & welcome you to the forum, I think Sara's given you all the links etc you need to move forward.

    I am mum to 2 boys, a 2 year old & a 5 year old who has ASD, he initially attended mainstream primary school but I pulled him out after 7 months & he now attends a specialist unit attached to a mainstream primary school.

    Look foward to talking more with you soon. 

    Tracy - Community Champion


    Tracy - Retired Community Champion
  • michaelz's picture

    inspirational breakfast - premier christian radio.

    sandra talks about the difficulties in obtaining help for her ADHD/autistic son,

    theresa may is her MP and help eventually arrived in the form of statement and boarding school.

    50 minutes approx into programme.

Back to discussions

Back to top