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A head strong toddler!

LuckyMommy's picture

A head strong toddler!

Tue 17 Nov 2015 8:28pm

Hi, Just wandering if anyone has got advice for me please.  I have a 3.5 year old who appears to be completely controlling me and every situation.  He refuses to co-operate and today I've had comments like n.o. spells no, I will not, you do it, etc.  These are responses to asking him to do things like eat his lunch. He refuses to tidy up toys and generally will not co-operate with anything unless it is on his terms.  He's refused a bath, lunch, etc.  I've tried calm, time out (he screamed with anger at the mere suggestion of it), i've tried firm, I've taken away his hudl but he's actually happy for me take something away that he really likes as long as he doesn't have to do what I've asked!  Generally co-operative at nursery although I think he's starting to show the colours a bit more.  They're trying to teach the children to put on their own shoes - he refuses and stays in just socks until someone does it or I collect and land up having to put them on because he can't walk outside with no shoes on.  That's a brief overview.  Any tips please as I'm finding it exhausting.  Thank you

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  • SherpaMum's picture

    Hi, at nursery I was told not to ask my son what to do, but to give him options, like do you want to eat lunch now or in 5 minutes.  Do you want to put your right shoe on first or the left.  It seemed to work.

    if he has time out or no hudl then if you can he should still do the thing that you are asking him, so that he knows that is the punishment for not doing what he is asked, but he still needs to do the job.

    my son always used to need the toilet when it was clearing up time at nursery and was in there for ages!  Normally done when the tidying was finished.

    i also read to say thank you when asking a child to do something can make then react better, I haven't tried that.

    make sure that nursery has the same strategy in place, so that there are no mixed messages.

    Good luck and please let me know how you get on.

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