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Undiagnosed aspergers worries

Bjddavie's picture

Undiagnosed aspergers worries

Tue 28 Mar 2017 3:25pm

Hi im new to this so please be understanding.
I have a 12 yo daughther who was sent to a paediatrician for possible aspergers,she suffers with severe anxiety,some ocd behaviour,she has self harmed,cant seem to socialise with her peers or speak to adults/teachers since she was a toddler really,together with cahms we believe she has aspergers.
So we get into the paediatric office,his assistant sat reading her file for half an hour without speaking,then came the doctor,to my surprise he said I have read her file and said"I dont understand why your here"
She clearly has no physical disability,
So we continued to explain what our concerns where regardind aspergers to which he replied "sure she dosent even look like she has aspergers"
Im no expert on this topic but I was under the impression that you cant tell by looking at someone if they have aspergers.
He said she has selective mutism and regards her not going to school"just drag her she will be fine"
Im so frustrated and just need some advice from people that have been through this,excuse my grammar and thank you in advance Smile

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  • NickyB's picture

    Hello Bjddavie

    Well I think you have every right to be frustrated by what the doctor said to you. As you say, there's no way they can say that someone "doesn't look like they have asperger's". As for the comment about selective mutism and school, that's not very helpful at all, and I feel is verging on being unprofessional.

    I've not had personal experience of this kind of thing from medical professionals, as my son's diagnosis was fairly straightforward (once we finally got the appointment!!). I would suggest, however, that you have every right to ask for a second opinion. Who was it that referred your daughter to the pediatrician in the first place? I would go back to them and ask for a referral to a diffferent doctor.

    I hope you can find someone with a better level of understanding because both you and your daughter deserve to have your concerns taken seriously.


    Nicky - Community Champion
  • SherpaMum's picture

    I would fully agree with Nicky.

    Please ask to see someone who understands what asperger's. My paediatrician asked what I thought the diagnosis was, I am not medically trained and thought that was her job!  We had to fill in loads of forms and then the psycologist saw him at school and the diagnosis followed.

    it sounds like everyone but the doctor understands your daughter, please keep fighting for her, getting the help you need does feel like a long fight at times.

    I hope you can put this bad experience behind you and find someone more supportive and helpful.

    let us know what happens.

  • Bjddavie's picture

    Thank you for your replies,this forum is amazing and has helped me to understand autism much better,
    We will keep going until we get the help and support she needs and deserves.
    I contacted camhs to imform them and my GP who sent us to the paediatrician and both agree it was unprofessional,their refering us to someone else as they also believe she is most likely AS and also dyspraxia
    Thank you again

  • SherpaMum's picture

    That is good to hear. 

    Please let us know how you get on.

  • NickyB's picture

    Oh that's good. I hope you get someone a bit more helpful this time!

    Nicky - Community Champion
  • Lailaanne's picture

    Go to someone else for a second opinion. I've encountered many unhelpful drs like that and as a result was left to suffer with a number of problems that I could have got help for if I'd asked for a second opinion. Whether or not your daughter has Aspergers she clearly has problems that she should be getting help with ...dragging her to school isn't likely to help anything.

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