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Hello?

WarriorOfEden's picture
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WarriorOfEden


Hello?

Sun 7 May 2017 11:01am
Topic: 

Hey, i am kinda new here, I joined a while ago but haven't had the time to really use the site... I don't know if this is the right place for it but I just want to chat with people... about my autism in general and other things, I have so many problems.... If this isn't right place, please direct me to the correct one and I will happily go there. I am usually too shy or scared to talk to people in the real world. 

 

 

 

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A warrior from an unknown land here to protect those without a voice and those who deserve it

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8 Comments

  • CharlotteL's picture

    Hi WarriorofEden,

    You're in the right place! smiley Welcome! 

    I'm Charlotte. 

    What do you want to talk about? 

     

    Charlotte, Community Manager
  • SherpaMum's picture

    Hi and welcome from me too.

    Let us know what your problems are and we will try and help. smiley

  • WarriorOfEden's picture

    Okay, I was worried that people will just ignore me... like they ignore me outside the internet world. People just ignore me... I say hello, they don't do anything... sometimes they say hello but don't speak to me or anything. I just wanna chat and get some help.

    I have so many problems... I am sensitive to a lot of things, touch, sound, sight (somewhat), smell and more. I have anger issues which i am still working on... it isn't easy especially when you have Post traumatic stress and I have Dyspraxia too, not Dyslexia (commonly mistaken for each other). I am having problems with my family, they don't quite understand the full extent of my sensitivity, especially to sound... we all like to watch tv but they tend to watch it past 8pm (that is when I go to bed), my sensitivity is particularly bad at night, I cannot sleep if the volume is too loud and the thing is, they say it isn't loud all the time! But they don't seem to understand that it is loud to me and I can't sleep, if am not asleep by at least 9pm, I have serious problems (such as I feel sick, I'm grumpy, etc). My dad always goes to bed before 9 but my sisters.... they NEVER GO TO BED!!! They stay awake throughout the night and cause mischief, they are rebelious and it takes them forever to finally go to sleep.... on school nights it's not so bad but weekends and during half term it's a nightmare! I am still waiting to hear back from the learning support doctor (or whatever it's called).

    I am shy because too many bad people out there... they have hurt me in the past, they did bad things to me and my family... it's a long story. I am shy because I am worried that people will just ignore me, as I said earlier... I have had times where I got the courage to say hello, they say hello back and we start a conversation, things look fine until they leave or I had to go and.... i never see those people AGAIN. I do mean it literally... I don't see them! Not even online... they just disappear Sad 

    I am also working on my independence, still got a long way to go...I would like some help on this too.  I was kicked out of college, that's another long story but let me tell you something, it wasn't my fault and I don't wanna go back, for good reasons. There are no affordable youth clubs or anything like that in town or even near town... so don't ask. (The only one is £50 a day!) Jobs? I wish... you probably already know this but they discriminate us in the jobs system... some people say they just don't know how to help us or whatever but I can tell you it isn't really true, they are more worried about their money and buisness, they don't care about us! I have been searching for a few years and still haven't anywhere that is willing to take anyone with Autism in.. :/

    Can you help me? How do you do it?? How are you able to find friends and get along with people so quickly and so well straight away? I have major trust issues with anyone I don't know, it takes a loong time for me to trust ANYONE and in between that time, a lot of things can happen that could effect it...

     

    A warrior from an unknown land here to protect those without a voice and those who deserve it
  • SherpaMum's picture

    Making friends is hard, you are clearly doing well talking to people, but it sounds like you need to find people who like the same things as you'll, so that you can meet up again.  I don't think anyone makes friends straight away, it is something that takes time and has to be worked at. Saying "hello" is the start.

    Who are the people you are talking to? Where have you met them? 

    If you could find a club for people that like the same kind of things as you, then you know the same people will often be there and if you already have a hobby in common that helps.  My son has just started playing War Hammer games and found a group of people who make and play. Are there any local clubs or groups that may interest you, and not necessarily cost huge amounts of money?

    There should be some local ASD groups, your local Autism Society or Council should have their details.

    trust is something that comes with time, and builds up as you get to know someone.

    i am sorry that your sisters are causing issues and don't understand your sensitivities. Sounds issues can be a real problem. Would you be able to wear ear plugs? I know that white noise can help with sound sensitivity, may be your doctor could help with other ideas when you speak to them? Is there anyway your room could be insulated any better to help keep the noise levels down?  I get grump if I don't have enough sleep too.

    Are you getting any help for your PTSD? That may help your anger issues and confidence. It would be worth asking your doctor if he knows of any groups locally for people with ASD, dyspraxia or PTSD. They may have some ideas.

    have you got anyone working with you to help with your confidence and independence. The main thing is setting yourself goals that you can achieve and then setting another, rather than a huge goal that is too scary to achieve.

    I Hope that your doctor can help with some of this, or a counsellor.  

    Have a look at your local autism society and see if they have any groups, it is a good starting point. See what local clubs are around that you might be interested in.  You should find possible friends there.

    I am afraid that there is no magic formula for making friends, just keep trying and I am sure you will find a friend.

  • WarriorOfEden's picture

    First of all, I already told you, there ARE NO CLUBS AT ALL!!! The government stopped funding them and more and more cuts are being made so clubs are virtually non-existent. There is also the problem of no funding to the NHS...  All except that one have gone!!! There is another one just out of town... but there is one slight problem I didn't tell you earlier and that  is I have fears. 

    My fears are:

    Going outside when it is dark or at night, getting over that slowly

    Big knives, like the butcher knife, etc. I am okay with smaller ones, I have a solution to this problem though and it doesn't involve getting over it.

    Gas cookers, starting to get used to them now... still a little nervous around them though

    High places. The club outside of town is only on late at night (I think it starts at 7:30pm), that is why I can't go to most clubs... because all the ones near here are at night or too far away or too expensive (or all 3 of those things). I have already checked council and the society, no luck! 

    I have just started seeing a new counselor yesterday, this is like my 6th one so far, I think... I don't know how many different ones I have seen so far, not including the many psycharists I have seen too...  so far I haven't gotten any help from her,  what help did I get from the previous ones you may ask? I barely remember any of that! I also have memory problems, I tend to forget things very quickly and sometimes they take a long time to come back or never return at all! Besides the last time I saw anyone was last year and they didn't do much with me anyway....

    My dad is helping me, the folks at respite are helping me but I only go there once a month except during summer and winter holidays so progress is slow...  

    As for friends, I meet them in town, sometimes I would say hello while I am just out and about, it's random! Who? That is also random, I tend to avoid teenagers and young teens (10-12 year olds), they are the ones that tend to give me bad feedback, I have gotten some of it from adults as well but I am always careful about who I say hello to, maybe too careful.. by the way I can't be friends with any of the other respite patients because I don't really connect with others that have Autism, all those other patients are older than me and have much more severe problems than me, I prefer someone who is more mainstream. Also I will only befriend females.... I am not interested in love or a relationship with either male or female, that's right... I am asexual and I am completely aware of what that means Smile

    A warrior from an unknown land here to protect those without a voice and those who deserve it
  • WarriorOfEden's picture

    Hello? Why is no one talking to me?? Ignoring me just like everyone ignores me in the real world Sad :'(

    A warrior from an unknown land here to protect those without a voice and those who deserve it
  • CharlotteL's picture

    Hey WarriorofEden,

    So sorry for not replying sooner. I have been on holiday.

    Have you tried looking here?

    http://www.autism.org.uk/services/local/england.aspx 

    Charlotte 

    Charlotte, Community Manager
  • WarriorOfEden's picture

    Yes I did, the closest one for me is Bromsgrove and that is STILL too far away :/  I don't drive, public transport is a major problem, I am used to buses but taxis? There are hardly any that will even take me anywhere! Plus I have no clue if there is even a bus that goes between here and there... my dad wouldn't really be able to drive me so far, he is disabled too physically and money is tight 

     

    So it has to be IN TOWN or near town, understand?! I live in Evesham. 

     

    I will contact them and ask anyway, even though it's pointless.... 

    A warrior from an unknown land here to protect those without a voice and those who deserve it

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