We had a birthday party for my (nearly) 6-year-old son who has ASD. He has (in theory) full-time one-to-one support at school. Him not having siblings, cousin or any relatives or extended family in this country we tried to have a very good party for him and invited 15 of his classmates, rented a venue and hired a party provider and provided food and etc, we did the same last year and it went really well. But this year the party turned into hell for our son and many other children by three of his male classmates, they bullied him in front of our eyes, I had to lift my son for him not being hurt by those three classmates, one of them tried and several times succeeded to touch and squeeze his genitals, while the other two taking off his glasses and shoes. I cannot stop crying tonight, these behaviours must have a history and I am at no doubt it is happening in daily basis at school.
I back up this with the thing that happened last week. The mum of one of those trouble maker boys had approached my wife and apologised for his son pinching my son at school. My wife totally unaware of the incident at school learned that four of children had been warned and their parents had been called to school for bullying my child. We immediately spoke to school and every body in school was totally unaware of the incident and a few days later we were told by his teacher that they had done an investigation and that hasn’t happened at all.
After today’s party we know that the investigation isn’t true, we also know what that lady meant by “pinching”. My son’s understanding of negative intention is next to zero, he actually loudly laughs when he is teased, his eye glasses is taken, his food is snatched, and many other bullying examples. Volunarable doesn't describe him enough.
You might rightly argue that this school isn’t suitable for him, no doubt we are trying hard to get him out of this hell. Any other school won’t be worse than this situation. We just do not understand why school doesn’t share with us the incidents that have happened to my child at school, they could tell us, at least we hadn’t invited these three. In fact his teacher in one of the meeting mentioned one of these boys (the worst ones) as his true supporter. In every meeting that we had at school, I loudly said that our priority is his well being at school and clearly mentioned he needs protection from negative intentions and it is written in his ECHP plan, every time we re-assured by the school, today I cannot keep believing them.